Anthony's Chicken Tracks

I will admit it … I think I pamper my pooches a bit too much. They get plenty of tasty treats, a few toys, meaty bones now and lots of lap time.

With the launch of Pet Airways, my pampering looks like animal abuse. When you book your pooch on Pet Airways, they get to ride in a private pet carrier in the main cabin. They even get a dedicated Pet Attendant during their flight!

That is better treatment then I got on my recent jam packed flight to Orlando. Perhaps I should consider dressing up in a poodle costume for my next trip.

This morning I was in the mood to clean out some junk in my trunk. When I picked up the pile of papers on my dresser to sort through, a small slip fell to the floor. I recognized the size and shape and retrieved it. I flipped it over to read my long lost fortune.

“You will be fortunate in the opportunities presented to you.”

It may seem like a silly generic statement to many. At this moment in my life, that simple generic statement packs one heck of a punch. Three cheers for found fortune!

The front page of the Sunday paper coupon insert, proudly introduces K-Y Intense Arousal Gel for Her, Scientifically proven to intensify female satisfaction and includes one coupon for $5.00 off K-Y Intense Arousal Gel and a second coupon for $2.00 off any other K-Y brand product. Flip a couple pages and you have a coupon for BarS Jumbo Franks, Scotties facial tissues and the Wisconsin Dell’s “Family Values” super summer saver card.

Sounds like a recipe: Toss in some K-Y Intense Arousal Gel, a Jumbo Frank and 9 months later you are gonna need the Wisconsin Dell’s Family Values super summer saver card.

I might just have to start coupon clipping again!

Swine Flu Patient Zero has been identified.

Doctors suspect Cindy Piglicker contracted Swine Flu and has been spreading it to friends and family after her visit to a local petting zoo.

Mrs. Cowlicker, friends of the Piglicker family, admitted to reporters they don’t invite the Piglicker family over to their farm that often but could understand how little Cindy became patient zero.

When asked why, Mrs. Cowlicker whispered, “Whenever little Cindy gets to the farm, she practically jumps out of the car, runs to the pig pen and starts … ummm … licking the pigs.”

Doctors have taken little Cindy Piglicker to a special research facility with the hope she holds the key to a new Swine Flu vaccine.

I am wandering around New York people watching and taking pictures. I turned the corner and found hole in the wall shop selling mini-stuffed cupcakes.

With a line ten people deep and the ground wet from drool, how could I resist trying a bite sized treat. I ordered two peanut butter cups and one peanut butter and jelly. I popped a peanut butter cup into my mouth.

My eyes glazed over as I slowly savored the mix of flavors. It is confirmed, there is a heaven and it is fulled with all-you-can-eat, calorie free, mini-stuffed cupcakes.

If your travels take you to New York, I highly recommend a detour for this finger licking good treat. http://www.bakedbymelissa.com (I would have included a picture of these treats, but I ate them before the thought even crossed my mind)

You know it is bad when …

Larry Flynt (Hustler Magazine fame) recently asked Congress for a $5 Million bailout to help “stimulate” the sexual appetite of America.

I am thinking of starting SNA … Social Networks Anonymous, a group for those recovering from their addiction to social networks. Anyone else admitted they have a problem and like to join me?

A New Year
A New Attitude
A New President
A Renewed Sense of Hope

Cheers to all!